Yes, I used a stock photo. No, I’m not reading Moby Dick. I have 20 minutes of quiet time to write, edit and publish.
I was thinking about my reading habits this morning. Ok, let me rewind. My son and I got into it this morning, you know the scene, no one takes deep breaths, no one is in their right mind - he lost his iPad for his consequence and since I also lost my cool, I had to lose something too. I said “I don’t get my kobo today”. My son smiled. Not in a sinister way, he thought I was being fair. I could very easily go and grab it and he would be none the wiser, he’s at school, I’m not. But integrity matters. And my husband asked me if that was me setting a personal boundary because I have been positively chewing through novels of late. In a way, yes, it was a hiatus (God bless autocorrect because I couldn’t remember how to spell hiatus, and it took hideous to get to a closer guess).
In the car, thinking about a day without my kobo, I wondered why I am a compulsive reader. Last night, we wanted to go to bed early, we had the best intentions, but then I was less than 100 pages from finishing my book, and we all know how that goes - or maybe you don’t - I’ll explain anyway. I was reading The Fault in Our Stars a few years ago. I was on a flight and just before the climax of the book, with tears streaming down my face, we started our final decent into Edmonton. I had to put the book away to deplane. When I went to pick it up hours later to finish it, it fell so flat. All of the emotion that had built up, that I was hoping would just wreck me (because, reader, if you are a true reader, the best way to leave a book is absolutely ruined, amiright!?), and it was a full on MEH. I could have tossed the book in the trash and had zero feelings about it. Therefore, in my mind, any book that has less than 100 pages must be completed before I go to bed.
I also have an insane need to complete things. If you want something done, call me, I will help you, or cheer for you, or yell at you, but we will get it done. Even today with my little tiny grade 1 kids, we had three minutes left in class, and rather than play a game, or just chill, I thought, you know what, let’s push a little harder and get it done. I made them all open their duotangs and put stuff in them and recycle old work (or take it home because, sorry parents, grade 1s are hoarders to the extreme) all before I left. And we did it, I was proud of them, and me, we checked everything off our 45 minute to-do list, even the things with question marks beside them. I get results.
This is how I am with books. I’m almost competitive with myself. I llllllove the statistics that my kobo gives me, 2.2 pages per minute, bliss, average reading span 28 minutes, and completed in 4.8 hours. I am a reading machine. I love to finish books. I have just started to DNF (did not finish). That wasn’t part of my ability prior to my kobo, I would slug through some tough reads, but then I thought, I’m wasting precious time on books that are enjoyable to keep reading some of these books. I have about 30 books on my holds list at the library. These books better grip me in the first 50 pages or it’s back to the shelf for you.
Another problem, my holds list continues to grow even though I tear through books at a rate of 3-4 per week. And I panic at a 21 day borrowing rate, but I can read a book in a day. Last weekend, I was sick, and I read book 2 and 3 of a series from Friday to Sunday afternoon.
So, what’s with all this rambling? I looked at the calendar and I’m 6 months into this year. I haven’t really done too much outside of my normal responsibilities, other than read, and play tennis. I have read away a half a year. I don’t regret it, but I know I’m addicted. We listened to Dopamine Nation on a road trip on the long weekend, and the author compares her romance novel addiction to any type of addiction and I will tell you, I’ve just replaced my phone and scrolling with my kobo. It’s a little easier on my eyes, but it’s getting in the way of a few things - like writing, accomplishing things, general moving forward on some to do list things. And it’s an addiction to finishing each book. And it’s easier to escape into a world where happily ever after exists when you’re feeling a bit stagnant in life.
What’s standing in your way of moving forward? What’s your dopamine hit?
Currently on my kobo: The Rom-Commers, by Katherine Center
Currently in my ears: Everything I Know About Love, by Dolly Alderton
Thanks for reading.